by Paige Conley

The edge of popping the pimple,
even though the dermatologist said not to touch my acne
Wait it out.
Wait everything out.
It will get better is what they tell me.

The edge of “hitting you with my car in the school parking lot.”
The edge of “do I pretend I need to go to the nurse’s office or not?”
The edge of “sucking your dick in the middle of P.E.”
The edge of “not sucking your dick in the middle of P.E.
I’m in a mood. Leave me the hell alone.”

The edge of “pissing yourself during a standardized test”
The edge of “farting in front of your whole entire class”
The edge of “dropping out of high school and becoming an escort”
The edge of “shanking each individual member of homecoming court”

The edge of “telling him I’m pregnant just so I still have him for Prom”
The edge of “constantly wishing everyday that you were never even born.”
The edge of “unscrewing the lid off that bottle of Clorox
And chugging it”
The edge of “going to put gas in the car for mom and then accidentally showering yourself in the oil and then lighting a cigarette.”

The edge of “a much older age than 17,
because no one on the edge of 17
is ever this honest about being 17,
because it’s all shits and giggles now, but at age 17
you almost did or actually did every single one of these things.”
Never was I on the edge of 17
But always over
Or maybe Under
Where ever is best to not ever be seen.

Inspired by the 2016 film, “The Edge of Seventeen”